Courageous Leader BLUEprint® – 22nd edition
Welcome back leaders!
This is the 22nd edition of our Courageous Leader BLUEprint® newsletter.
Every three weeks, you’ll get quick, thoughtful leadership insights without the fluff.
Read time: less than 8 minutes
It’s been almost a year since our last newsletter on the topic of curiosity.
Since then, I’ve watched the Ted Lasso series on Apple TV at least three times through.
It’s one of the best shows about leadership I’ve ever seen.
I don’t have time to explain the premise of the whole show in this newsletter, but I cannot recommend it enough.
One of my favorite scenes in the whole series is in the first season in an episode called “Diamond Dogs.”
It’s important that it’s the first season, because everyone is still trying to figure out Ted.
Ted is their new leader, who on the surface seems highly unqualified for his new role as head coach for a Premier League football (soccer) team.
In this scene, Ted accompanies his new boss, Rebecca, to a local bar to visit with some investors.
The investors do not show up.
Instead, Rebecca’s ex-husband, Rupert, arrives with his new girlfriend.
Ted and Rebecca are surprised when Rupert informs them his girlfriend bought out the investors (with Rupert’s money).
Rupert doesn’t trust that Ted can help the team succeed and he wants to publicly humiliate Rebecca over the decision to hire Ted.
Rupert plans to sit in the owner’s box each week and antagonize Rebecca.
In his words, “It will be relentless.”
Ted casually begins shooting some darts and Rupert challenges him to a game.
Rupert asks if Ted wants to bet on the game, and Ted’s response clearly surprised both Rupert and Rebecca:
He says if Rupert wins, Rupert can pick the starting lineup of the last two games.
But, if Ted wins, Rupert cannot go anywhere near the owner’s box (meaning he cannot antagonize Rebecca at the games).
Clearly misjudging Ted, Rupert readily accepts the wager.
As the game nears a close, Rupert has a big lead and thinks he’s won.
But, Ted begins to make a comeback on a single turn to seal the victory.
As he’s shooting his three final darts, he says people have underestimated him his whole life.
But he realized the problem wasn’t with him.
It was because those people weren’t curious. They didn’t stop to ask questions.
For example, have you played a lot of darts, Ted?
He references a quote that says:
“Be curious, not judgmental.”
We can see in Rupert’s expression after losing the game that he’s been caught being judgmental, not curious.
In Rupert’s case, his lack of curiosity cost him access to the owner’s box and the ability to pick the lineup for the last two games. Two things he wanted.
But what does this story have to do with courageous leadership?
For one, curiosity takes courage because it means we must admit we don’t know everything.
Curiosity begins when certainty ends.
Have you ever worked for a leader who thinks they know everything?
Who assumes they are always right?
I don’t know about you, but I have.
It’s amazing to me how people who think they know everything seem to know so little. And the people who remain genuinely curious seem to claim they don’t know everything.
The stakes for leaders are different than losing access to an owner’s box or picking a lineup.
Here are just some of the stakes for leaders who are judgmental, not curious:
They lose the respect of their people
Innovation suffers because people stop sharing ideas
Problems get hidden until they become crises
People become more focused on avoiding mistakes than taking initiative for fear it won’t be the “right” way
And if you’re looking at that last one thinking “of course, I want them to avoid mistakes,” I’d like to challenge you on that.
When people spend time avoiding mistakes instead of creating results, their performance will be less than their best.
And for the most part, people want to work in an environment that lets them give their best.
If they do not feel like the environment supports that, they will probably look for another opportunity, which will cost you time and money.
Remember: people cannot grow without making some mistakes along the way, and truly courageous leaders create an environment where it is safe to make mistakes.
Curiosity also takes courage because it means that we, as leaders, must take an active role in overcoming our natural human tendencies to be judgmental.
Without a curiosity mindset, leaders tend to make decisions based on assumptions rather than facts.
Decisions based solely on assumptions are rarely the best ones.
So, what does curiosity look like for a leader?
Think back to what Rupert could have done differently.
If he had done just these three things, he could have saved himself some embarrassment and maybe even gotten some of what he wanted:
Ask one more question
Delay judgment
Replace assumptions with conversations
Rupert could have asked Ted if he played a lot of darts.
That information may have changed his level of arrogance and belief in his superiority as a darts player.
Rupert could have delayed judgment.
Ted’s appearance and background don’t fit the mold of a Premier club manager, but his character does.
Finally, Rupert could have replaced his assumptions with a conversation.
Getting to know Ted better might reassure him that the team was indeed in good hands.
This week’s courageous choice:
Think about someone on your team who is frustrating you.
Before assuming you know what is wrong, ask yourself, “what might I not know?”
Try asking one more question, delaying judgment, and replacing assumptions with a conversation.
“Be curious, not judgmental.” –Ted Lasso*
*Ted Lasso attributes this quote to Walt Whitman, but it likely originated from a 1986 Charlotte Observer advice column