Courageous Leader BLUEprint™ – 5th edition

Welcome back leaders!

This is the fifth edition of our Courageous Leader BLUEprint™ newsletter. 

Every three weeks, you’ll get quick, thoughtful leadership insights without the fluff.

Read time: less than 5 minutes

As we continue with the Courageous Leader BLUEprint™, a framework designed to support your success as a courageous leader, we now shift from the inner work of leadership to how we show up and lead others.

The U is for Understand, and in today’s newsletter, we’ll cover a key concept of Understanding: Curiosity.

The willingness to try and understand those we lead is crucial.

Have you ever felt misunderstood by your boss?

This is getting personal, I know. But this self-reflection may help you as you continue in your leadership journey.

Have you ever worked for someone who: 

-seemed to barely notice you unless you made a mistake?

-treated you like a number, like a cog in the machine?

-didn’t know your birthday, your anniversary, your kids’ names, or your personal hobbies?

If you worked for a boss like this, it probably didn’t feel great. 

You probably weren’t motivated to go out of your way and give discretionary effort. 

You probably dreaded Sunday evening because all you could think about was how much you dreaded Monday morning. 

We’re just guessing here based on conversations we’ve had with people in all kinds of industries.

Conversely, have you ever worked for someone who: 

-made a real effort to get to know you as a person?

-cared about your career path?

-helped you align your personal goals with the organization’s professional mission? 

If so, how did that feel?

Again, just guessing here, but it probably felt pretty good.

As humans, we have a fundamental need to feel seen, heard, and respected.

That applies to our workplace environments as well.

Want a quick tip for how to lose trust with your teams and make them feel unseen, unheard, and disrespected? Jump to conclusions! (Please don’t do this)

Courageous leaders recognize when they have an assumption or judgment.

This is human nature: we all make assumptions and judgments.

Our brains are hardwired to make shortcuts so that we’re not overwhelmed with every little decision. 

In a very short synopsis, over time, we catalog experiences as either “good” or “bad”, and as we continue to encounter similar experiences, our brain adds to that file. Our brains catalog information so that we can make shortcuts. 

This does not happen consciously. And this process is critical to be aware of because this is how our biases form.

There is a well-researched concept related to bias that has real implications for leaders known as fundamental attribution error.

This concept essentially means that we tend to attribute other people’s behavior to their character or intentions and underestimate the context or circumstances.

When leaders are aware of this concept, they are better equipped to recognize signs of their own potential attribution errors.

Rather than jumping to conclusions, courageous leaders:

• Slow down

• Challenge their own assumptions

• Gather all available facts

• Listen

• Genuinely seek to understand

They ask themselves questions like:

• “What could be going on behind the scenes?”

• “What changes if I assume positive intent?”

• “What is the evidence to support my initial belief?”

• “Are there any potential obstacles I may be unaware of?”

• “Am I doing (or not doing) something that is contributing to this problem?”

In other words, courageous leaders choose curiosity.

In our BLUEprint, we say that choosing curiosity is the courage to replace judgment with a genuine interest in others.

Curiosity might not be the flashiest leadership trait, but it might just be one of the most powerful ones.

Here’s the real challenge, though: curiosity can be tough!

Some might consider curiosity to be a soft leadership technique. But it’s strategic.

My friend and colleague, Dr. Christian Conte, is an Anger Management Specialist.

Dr. Conte has diffused tense interactions with some of the most violent prisoners in America. 

My guess (and hope) is that your employees are not violent. 

However, other people’s behaviors can evoke certain emotions in us as leaders. These can include emotions such as frustration and anger.

And, if we let those emotions override our own rational thoughts, we may be less likely to slow things down and have a curiosity mindset.

In his book, Walking Through Anger, Dr. Conte discusses a concept known as “nonattachment.”

Nonattachment is essentially a conscious decision to let go of the need to be right while maintaining control of our emotions and ego.

Nonattachment and curiosity go hand in hand.

It’s one thing to “be curious” while trying to collect evidence to support your assumptions and judgments.

People can tell you’re being disingenuous, and they may give you limited information because they’re scared of getting trapped by their answers.

On the other hand, curiosity combined with nonattachment will help you authentically explore a situation with your employee.

When your focus is on truly understanding a situation, rather than confirming you are 100% in the right, with no room for other perspectives, you create a safer environment for the employee.

And, you grow as a leader because you give yourself permission to learn something you didn’t already know.

Before your next reaction, pause. Ask a question. Choose curiosity. 

Choose real curiosity with nonattachment.

Here is a PDF of “6 Curious Questions the Best Leaders Ask”

*I highly recommend reading Dr. Conte’s book, Walking Through Anger. Please note, we do not receive affiliate commissions.