Courageous Leader BLUEprint™ – 14th edition
Welcome back leaders!
This is the fourteenth edition of our Courageous Leader BLUEprint™ newsletter.
Every three weeks, you’ll get quick, thoughtful leadership insights without the fluff.
Read time: less than 5 minutes
Our topic today is presence.
One day, I was standing in my boss’s office to discuss a difficult situation regarding an employee.
Though sitting just a few feet away, he was turned to the side and looking at his computer the entire time.
That experience taught me a valuable lesson about presence.
Presence has nothing to do with being physically present or an open-door policy.
It has everything to do with giving full attention, especially in the moments that matter.
Presence can be tough for leaders:
Multitasking has not only become socially accepted, but implicitly expected
Discomfort triggers a natural urge to fix or escape the situation
Emotional regulation takes energy and most leaders aren’t taught how
It takes courage to sit in the moment without trying to control it.
Presence is an essential leadership skill and tied directly to emotional intelligence, empathy, and psychological safety.
These aren’t buzzwords, they’re what is expected of modern leaders.
When leaders are present:
People feel seen
Conversations go deeper
Trust grows faster
People don’t necessarily expect you to have all the answers. However, they do need to know you’re present with them.
People have a genuine need to feel seen, heard, and valued.
What presence isn’t:
Having to fix every problem
When your employees come to you with problems, this is an excellent opportunity to coach them by asking questions to help them uncover answers.
However, in some cases, they will legitimately need you to help with a problem.
Still, in many cases, coaching can help develop their judgment, decision-making, and problem-solving abilities.
Allowing people to dump all drama on you
While leaders do need to handle certain kinds of drama, in many cases drama can (and should) be handled by the employees themselves.
Again, a coaching opportunity.
Sometimes, a great question can be, “is this something you really need me to address, or are you coming to me to discuss a strategy?”
Ignoring your tasks
If you are in the middle of an urgent task, set a specific time in the near future to meet with the employee when you can be fully present.
Keep those appointments.
One caveat to this – be flexible to when your employees’ problem is more urgent than your tasks.
Here are some practical tips to being more present:
Put the phone away
Turn away from the computer
Let silence exist without rushing to fill it
Listen without planning your response
Stay emotionally regulated when the conversation gets uncomfortable
Acknowledge emotions before behavior
Paraphrase what you hear to check for understanding
Presence gives leaders the opportunity to get to know their employees better, discover coaching opportunities, and build trust and rapport.
Presence isn’t a passive activity
It’s disciplined attention
Presence takes courage because it requires
restraint instead of reaction,
curiosity instead of control,
and connection instead of convenience
This week’s courageous choice:
In one conversation, put everything else away and stay fully present.
Notice what changes in them, and also in you.