Courageous Leader BLUEprint™ – 9th edition

Welcome back leaders!

This is the ninth edition of our Courageous Leader BLUEprint™ newsletter. 

Every three weeks, you’ll get quick, thoughtful leadership insights without the fluff.

Read time: less than 5 minutes

This edition of the Courageous Leader BLUEprint will continue the focus on growth.

Last time, we talked about the courage to grow as individuals.

And, while we believe in personal development, we also believe it is critical for leaders to grow with other leaders.

Growth happens when you surround yourself with people who can both support you and challenge you to grow.

You were not meant to walk your leadership journey alone.

Growth takes courage and community.

Leaders are rarely self-made

Even superheroes are more effective when they tap into their network.

Take two examples of superheroes who are portrayed as lone symbols, but have a strong support system.

Superman:

• He started with adoptive parents who believed in him and instilled strong values

• Lois keeps Clark grounded and helps him see himself

• His peers, The Justice League, challenge him and remind him that he doesn’t have to carry the world by himself

• Even though he is Supergirl’s mentor, she brings out his empathy, humility, and helps him reconnect with his roots

Wonder Woman:

• The Amazons believed in her and helped shape her values of justice and peace

• Steve Trevor helped her see the complexity of humanity

• She helps mediate conflicts and unite her peers on The Justice League

• She serves as a mentor for Wonder Girl, her successor

You don’t have to like comics to understand the relevance to leadership.

Leaders are often poured into by others as their journey begins, they have a support system, and they mentor the next generation of leaders.

You’ve no doubt heard the proverb that “Iron Sharpens Iron.”

Iron does not sharpen iron without friction.

It takes courage to allow others to speak into your blind spots. It takes courage to invite others to be that friction and to stay present through it.

↓ Here are a few suggestions on how to grow with others ↓

Development Program

Our leadership development programs utilize a group setting for several reasons:

• Groups provide natural accountability

• Groups show people it’s ok to be courageous and try new concepts

• Groups offer a source of community encouragement

The list of benefits from growth in the group setting is virtually endless.

While we specialize in group development programs (and we hope to partner with you on one in the future), we’d like to highlight a program that has stood the test of time:

The Dale Carnegie Course

The course is built around concepts from Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and some of his other books.

If you’ve never read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, we highly recommend it.

While the Dale Carnegie Course does touch on leadership, it also offers many other benefits.

To name a few, it helps people become better speakers, have more confidence, and apply the principles from the books.

It is also great for pushing you out of your comfort zone.

Programs like this are great reminders that growth isn’t about perfection - it’s about participation.

Accountability Group

As you climb the ranks, your circle of peers tends to get smaller within your organization.

For some people, the tendency is to isolate and to feel like you’re having to do things all on your own.

But, you don’t have to go at it alone, nor should you.

My friend Nicole Bianchi talks about the concept of Swim Buddies in her book “Small Brave Moves”:

“A swim buddy is there to hold you accountable. However, accountability works in both directions. By nature of the relationship, you are the swim buddy to your swim buddy.”

Dr. John Townsend talks about the concept of a Life Team in his book “People Fuel”:

“They [your life team] are in it for the mutual growth process.”

I highly suggest getting a copy of Nicole’s book and Dr. Townsend’s book (and no, I do not make an affiliate commission).

We could dive much deeper into swim buddies and life teams, but fundamentally, an accountability group should be a group of people who:

• You trust (and who trusts each other)

• You respect (and who respects each other)

• Celebrates your successes

• Is there for you in difficult times

• Will tell you the truth, even when it’s not what you want to hear

• Will encourage your growth

• Will hold you accountable

Here is a brief list of suggestions we have for an accountability group:

• Meet regularly - at least once a month

• Pick the right size for you - too few or too many can dilute the benefits of the group (4 or 5 is a great number)

• Pick the right mixture - having people at drastically different stages in their leadership journey can shift the focus to coaching/mentoring instead of accountability

• Know each other’s goals and challenge each other to greater heights

• Maintain strict confidentiality*

*There are exceptions, similar to those of a coaching or counseling relationship. For example, if someone is talking about imminent self-harm, is an imminent danger to others, there is a legal subpoena, etc.

Mentoring

Mentoring was essential to my growth as a leader.

I was blessed to have a team of mentors assigned to me when I was promoted, and I am blessed to have gained more along the way.

A mentoring relationship should be mutually beneficial. However, by the very nature of the relationship, one of the two people will be further along in the journey.

When I speak about mentoring, I tell people:

• There is someone out there right now who is further along than you who would be willing to be your mentor

• There is someone out there right now who is not as far along in their journey who would benefit from your mentorship

Most mentoring relationships form naturally, usually under the authentic guise of friendship.

As the relationship matures, the friendship remains, yet conversations tend to steer towards the growth of the mentee.

Some organizations assign mentors.

In my case, it worked because I already had a friendship with each of them, one that was both respected and trusted.

If you are assigned a mentor, that can still work. You’ll just need to put more effort into building the relationship, especially if your assigned mentor doesn’t take the relational first step.

Although having an assigned mentor may not work, we encourage you to give it a try.

If the relationship doesn’t seem to gel, and you’ve put in a legitimate effort, consider looking at another option, such as requesting a new mentor or seeking an informal one.

Also, I wouldn’t limit yourself to having one mentor and one mentee.

What kind of person should a mentor be?

The same kind of people you would choose for your accountability group.

Someone you trust and respect who is in your corner during the good and bad, will tell you the truth, encourage your growth, and hold you accountable.

Leadership is only lonely if you let it be

Surround yourself with people who make you better (and have the courage to let them)

It takes courage to grow with others, but that’s how great leaders are made